I used to smoke. And I looooooved smoking. And I miss it. But I miss it like you miss an old boyfriend when you find his flannel in the back of your closet; enough to make you sigh but not enough to make you call him and see what’s up. Because he was a douche and you broke up for a reason, or rather reasonS; twenty-seven of them at last count, which was about 2 weeks after you broke up, with your bestie one night over cookies and beer at 2am.
I might be oversharing again.
Anyway, I quit pretty easily. I don’t have an addictive personality…or so I like to think. But there are a few things that I just can’t give up, no matter how hard you think I need to.
1. Candy
I have a candy fetish. FaveRed Starburst, Haribo gummi bears, Fruity Mentos, Cherry Twist ‘n’ Peel Twizzlers, Skittles….I’d probably set someone on fire for a giant pile of Laffy Taffy. (Unless they were all banana. Nobody likes banana. But fruit punch flavor? IT IS ON.) Not a chocolate fan unless it has caramel in it. Or it’s Dove. Even retro candy like Kits, Mallo Cups and Sugar Daddy…*sigh* If I succumb to my family’s history of diabetes, you’re just gonna have to take me outback and shoot me.
I recently found out from Lauren that she has movie theaters where you can mix and match the bins of candy and just buy it by the pound. I find it incredibly unfair that I don’t have this and think I need to write my congressman.
2. DIY
I am unable to keep myself from looking at a project and going, “I could do that….” The end product is usually satisfying, but the way there is a hot mess usually involving yelling and tears. And yet, I still soldier on.
Ask Jethro about the year I tried to make everyone’s Christmas gifts. I thought he was gonna leave me….good thing I’m so hot.
3. Geeky sci-fi
I adore geeky sci-fi. Buffy, Angel, Firefly, Warehouse 13, Eureka, Dr. Who, Torchwood… But not freaky apocolyptic sci-fi that seems like it could happen. (I’m looking at YOU, Battlestar Galactica.) I like my sci-fi mixed with a bit of funny. Except for Stargate. Jethro loves it, I can’t get it…
And True Blood. I wanted to, but it’s gross. I need my vampires to dust, not explode in an orgy of goo. That’s just nasty, y’all.
Plus, they have yummy smart heroes. I say I like geeky sci-fi, but secretly the draw is the sex-ay mens. Spike, Captain Jack, the Tenth Doctor and Captain Picard. *sigh*
What? It’s okay, Jethro would dump me for Kaylee or Inara from Firefly in a second.
4. Beef jerky
Ohh, beef jerky. I mean the REAL stuff. The kind that you can fold in half and CRACK. The kind that you can eat one piece and probably be too full for dinner. The kind where you have to hold it between your teeth and wrench it up and down to be able to bite off a small enough piece and then you chew it for a day and a half. THAT kind of beef jerky.
I want MANLY jerky. None of this “tender pieces” horsesh*t. Who needs that? It’s like eating a wad of room temperature meat. I feel like I should heat it up or add a side dish to it. I need beef jerky in my life that you could stick in a knapsack for twelve years and still be good enough to keep you alive if you’re ever caught in a stampede.
Not that I plan on being caught in a stampede. But I COULD. I might move to Oklahoma one day and they have BUFFALO out there.
Okay, so it was like eight of them on some guy’s property, but they could stampede!! You never know…
And when that happens, I need my manly, tough beefy jerky to keep me alive.
5. Nail Polish.
This is my stash.
I might have a problem.
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What are YOUR vices? Share, moppets.
